Hartley was born in New York City, the daughter of Mary "Polly" Ickes (née Watson), a manager and saleswoman, and Paul Hembree Hartley, an account executive. Her maternal grandfather was John B. Watson, an American psychologist who established the psychological school of behaviorism. Hartley has a younger brother, Paul, who is a writer (The Seventh Tool) and research philosopher. She grew up in Weston, Connecticut, an affluent Fairfield County suburb within commuting distance to Manhattan.
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